When chasing girls, we sometimes feel that the other party is relatively indifferent, sometimes close and sometimes far away. But when we look for the reason, the answer we get is "You are still in my investigation period."
Do you like that girl who is inspecting you? What should you do in this case?
1. Examination Period? Doesn’t exist
Remember one sentence: Girls’ love often cannot be hidden.
If she really likes you, she won’t have the time to set up an “examination period” for you. To put it bluntly, she is also afraid that the boy she likes will be snatched away by other members of the opposite sex because of the unwarranted inspection period.
Why would a girl set up a trial period for you?
It’s because “she neither likes you that much nor hates you that much.” She doesn’t want to lose you, but is afraid of being with you. You missed out on a better person together, so you set up an inspection period in the name of it, and you naturally became the second best option.
Why does she dare to set up a review period for you, but you dare not set one for her?
It’s because she can accept that “she may lose you”, and But you can't accept that "you will lose her."
This in itself is an unfair relationship between the sexes, and it is also the beginning of the self-cultivation of dog lickers.
Similarly, if a girl likes you, when she gets along with you, while you give her the best, she will give you other enthusiasm in return. This relationship between the sexes is a process of constantly "adding points" .
What about the review period? It’s a girl who constantly finds fault with you and denies you. This is a process of constantly “reducing points”.
Why is he late for a date again? Does it mean he doesn’t have me in his heart at all, minus points!
Why doesn’t he reply to me right away? Does it mean he doesn’t like me at all, minus points? !
Why did he post such a low profile on Moments? Isn’t it suitable for me at all? Points will be reduced!
An evaluation period has been set up for you, and your initial score is already No more than 60 points. If you think about it carefully, in the end, no matter how well you do, what kind of answer sheet can you give to a girl?
When a girl says to you:
"I am still I don’t want to fall in love, let’s just be friends.”
“I want to think about our relationship again” and so on.
Is the girl checking you out?
No, this is an ultimatum for this relationship. Relying on licking to win her heart back? It doesn't exist. In the end, the harder you try, the more sad you will be.
2. To love someone, first learn to become a better self
Remember one sentence: Don’t change yourself for someone easily.
I know that once these words come out, everyone here will definitely be in an uproar.
To give a simple example, when you lose 20 pounds for a girl, and when you lose 20 pounds to become a better self, these are two completely different concepts.
The former is the mentality of a humble show-off, while the latter is the mentality of a strong person with high self-discipline.
Many boys think of the so-called probation period too simply, thinking that as long as they can change according to the girls' intentions, they can gain favor again.
But to be honest, whether it is pursuing a relationship or a love relationship, it must be a process of mutual growth and mutual correction between both parties.
If during the inspection period, it is all you who are changing and giving, the girl may forgive you, but what about the next conflict?
Girls will naturally feel at ease. Moving out of the inspection period again seems to be saying to you, "If you still love me, you should change and sacrifice."
Therefore, when you meet a girl and set up a review period for yourself, the most important thing you need to do is not to admit your mistakes and change.
Instead, communicate with girls about problems in a timely manner, find out what each other has not done well, rebalance the balance of payments, and work together for this relationship to find a solution to the conflict. You two Only then can the relationship enter a virtuous circle.
In other words, the purpose of your change is never to be attached to someone, but to achieve a better self or a better relationship.
With different mentality and different methods, the final outcome will be different.
What is the inspection period? They are a hundred steps apart from each other. She will not take a step, but she will let you take a hundred steps in the name of love.
What is effective communication? I know "you are disappointed in this relationship", but I am willing to communicate and resolve with you, and we will take fifty steps forward together, and both of us are willing to work hard for this relationship. And change.
3. When you don’t want to keep anyone, someone will naturally stay for you
This point of view is only for those boys who are struggling to pursue girls, but to no avail.
I often receive private messages like this: "Is this girl checking me out now, so am I in trouble?"
To say a very cruel thing, if a girl treats you If the inspection period exceeds 28 days, then there is basically no chance.
That's all.
Know who you should please the most during the girl’s inspection period?It's a girl, but you.
The reason why girls will set up an inspection period for you is not that you have not done enough, but that your own attractiveness is really not enough.
Therefore, the best way to break the ice during the inspection period is never to be moved or licked, but to manage your own life well. Whether it is external, internal or personal values, you can always be in a constant state of mind. In the process of adding value, girls’ inspection of you will no longer exist.
In other words, if a girl has the heart to examine you, to be honest, she doesn’t like you that much, and no matter how much you give, it will be difficult for her to change her mind.
Don’t try to keep someone by being moved and giving without bottom line. Not only will it not be enough, but you will also lose yourself in this relationship in the end.
A healthy relationship between the sexes is always equal.
Her current favorable opinion of you is only 4 points, but you have 8 points. She has not met a better person and does not want to wrong herself easily, so she will naturally give you a review period and let you You behave well.
But you have to know that what makes up for the gap in favorability is not dedication, but attraction.
When you can learn how to love yourself properly in a relationship, you will find that "this can keep a person's heart better."
Generally speaking, don’t think too much about the inspection period.
When a girl starts to examine you, it is actually a sign of "not loving you that much".
In the world of young girls, there are only "likes and dislikes".
Those girls who say "I like you a little bit, I like you more", to be honest, what she likes is not you as a person, but your efforts.
But if a girl who really likes you encounters an emotional conflict, she will definitely try to communicate with you and solve the problem before inspecting you. When you really enter the scope of inspection, Guess, this doesn’t mean that the girl is giving you a chance, but that she is gradually adapting to a The process "without you".
When I have accumulated enough disappointment, I will really leave you.
So when a girl is indifferent to you, don’t think about “this is a judgment period to determine whether this is the probation period.” Communicate the problem in a timely manner and resolve the sense of estrangement, so that she can quickly end her concerns.
Once you have reached the inspection period, no matter how much you do, it will all be in vain.