When people are unhappy inside, they always want to find someone to talk to and talk out their inner worries. This is more obvious for girls than boys.
Many boys think that when a girl encounters something annoying, if she talks to him immediately, he will get the girl's attention, strengthen the sense of connection with her, and get closer to her. Relationship opportunities.
In fact, this idea is wrong. She just treats you as an emotional trash can and dumps her emotional garbage.
So what is an emotional trash can?
The so-called emotional garbage Bucket, this concept usually refers to one party (specifically a girl here) often sharing negative emotions with the other party (specifically a boy here), constantly dumping her emotional garbage on you, and nagging you endlessly when she is unhappy. . But rarely, if ever, share positive emotions with you.
To put it simply, every time a girl dumps negative emotions on you, you are actually providing her with spiritual value (eliminating her worries and making her happy), but she has never done anything to make her happy. What makes you happy is why it is also a one-sided relationship model.
In other words, the person who is most suitable for her to dump her negative emotions is not the person with whom she has the closest relationship, but the person who does not care whether she will be hurt by her negative emotions. Therefore, there are two types of people who are suitable to be emotional trash cans. The first type is a complete stranger, such as a drift bottle; the second type is a person who cares about her very much but is dispensable to her. Such a person can solve her problems. , don’t feel bad if she is scared away, for example, someone who likes her.
Therefore, best friends are often not the best people for girls to dump their garbage emotions on, but you who are regarded as the emotional trash can are!
Generally speaking, when we want to improve our relationship with a girl, we must provide her with emotional value. However, it becomes an emotional trash can, and the emotional value you provide her is directly confiscated unilaterally.
Moreover, if you spend your time and energy listening to girls complaining about their sorrows, your value and attractiveness will continue to decrease if you do it a few times.
The most important thing is that after you become the carrier of her garbage emotions, the more garbage emotions you accept from her, the easier it will be for a girl to think of unbearable past events when she sees you, making you someone she should avoid. The existence of less than.
Now what should I do if a girl treats me as an emotional trash can?
Don’t enter the comfort mode easily!
This is the most common mistake that many otakus make. Girls express their feelings casually.If they show some unhappiness, they will immediately burst into "love". He tried his best to make the girl happy and wanted to know why she was unhappy, thinking that this was his chance to pick up the goddess. Especially when girls are falling out of love, this is simply the perfect "opportunity" to take advantage of.
First of all, comforting this matter will inevitably require evaluating the girl as a person and what she said, and may also denounce the other people she mentioned.
But we don’t know her specific situation, and we don’t know what the people she mentioned are about. It may be ridiculous in her opinion to evaluate and denounce others at will.
For example, if a girl quarreled with her best friend and came to take out the trash with you, you would criticize her randomly and say, "You are so stupid" and "She is really useless." But in fact, although she was very aggrieved verbally, she did not hate her best friend. Your seemingly righteous behavior actually exposed your strong need for her. Unknowingly telling her that you will agree with her, you will be brainless. Defend her.
Secondly, if a girl just comes to you to vent her sorrows, you will comfort her at every turn. This is the behavior that is most likely to be regarded as emotional garbage. Because you have not exchanged value, and you will listen to whatever she says. What a perfect person to talk to, right? Then girls will develop the bad habit of crying to you all the time.
How to distinguish whether a girl is here to express her bitterness or to express her sorrow normally?
If she is pouring out her bitterness, A girl's focus is almost entirely on herself. She won't care about your feelings and will nag you endlessly. Although she will ask you "What should I do" from time to time, she will reject any idea you give her, and she will tell you a reason why it won't work any way to solve the problem. She is very negative, and even if you say a few words to her, I want to vent my anger on you.
What should you do if you encounter a girl who complains about her? You cannot comfort her, but forbearance is not the answer. A girl can detect your impatience. She will think that you hate her and treat her badly, and then you will be negative. The emotions deepened further.
Therefore, diverting attention is the best solution.
For example, telling her jokes, asking her to go shopping, watching movies together, etc. Use these ways to make her happy and still have you by her side.
As for a girl who talks to you normally, she needs your support and understanding, so she cares about your feelings and pays attention to your feedback and interactions. As for interaction, it is the exchange of value, so this situation is the easiest and most flexible to solve.
If she encounters setbacks, you can provide her with advice;
If she encounters emotional problems, then you can share your experience with her and resonate with her;
If you are simply in a bad mood, just call him out to play, eat and drink together, can change her mood.
